Sometimes the only thing that is ‘hard’ about a hotwife relationship is finding decent ‘other men’. There are lots of good blogs (well, actually only a few) that offer advice on how to find a bull, lover or playmate. But the vast majority of blogs that will fill up your search results when you type ‘hotwife’ and ‘finding a bull’ are just the tiresome tropes of captioned pics of models saying improbably bimbo-esque statements in ridiculously false contexts with ridiculously high heels. Those captions serve no serious hotwife couple’s needs, although to be fair the captions are mostly serving a different market: the lone jerk-off brigade or the frustrated/hopeful husband fantasy crew.
The problem becomes clear for anyone who is seriously trying to share their wife, or to be shared: there are lots of timewasters (jerking off to the possibility, but no real balls), deceivers (jerking off to the idea of fucking your wife, but not man enough to have that conversation with their own wife), flakes (jerking off at the crescendo of sex-talk between you but never intending getting together) and weirdos (jerking off while they meet you on the first date because they have no social graces or charm). Its the Kleenex K-O, but no use to you, the couple that is serious about your wife’s promiscuity.
So, what to do if you are trying to find a bull, lover or playmate and you are having hotwife stamina issues: you just can’t find anyone and you are fast becoming disillusioned? Here are some steps that I recommend, and remember I created my blog to find more decent, well hung men, so I am not claiming to be any kind of sexpert, but I have stamina so I’m not an ex-spurt either (just said that to take myself laugh - it worked!) - also message me with your best shot if you think we ‘should definitely fuck’.
1. CraigsList - Don’t.
2. Fetlife - Don’t waste your time there either.
3. Walking into a bar - depends on your sexual hunger. You know how the diet gurus all say never shop when you are hungry? This is the same, never go looking for a hotwife experience when you desperately need to fuck a different cock. There be dragons. Your judgement is far too vulnerable at that point and it will only result in tears or a dry pussy, and both are undesirable outcomes for your precious hotwife.
4. Workplace - Don’t. It is very tempting to do this. After all this is where you meet most people, build up a rapport, develop a simmering lust and imagined fuck sessions etc. It is also the place where your reputation can be ruined, your self esteem trashed forever and your pocket hit when you feel you have no choice left but to leave.
5. Neighbors - See above but include selling your house when it all goes wrong.
6. Hobbies - This is safer territory. You get to see people without any sexual agenda and weigh them up. Then you can start to simultaneously build up your subtle Sexual Availability Messaging (SAM) with lower tops, shorter skirts, hair twirling, nonchalant hand resting on strong forearms, the classic accidental Brush with a Breast (BwaB - my favorite tease), gaze holding, face brightening smile on seeing him, whispering etc etc. If you change your mind about him because he reveals idiot tendencies or pleasant personality lapses, then it is easy to backup without losing face. If he becomes a stalker you can just drop that club/hobby without having to change your life.
7. Sports - As above, but with lower tops and shorter skirts, thong-less bending over (my tennis coach got the message that way), bouncier breasts, a sweat-sheened cleavage and general panting all round. Also provides opportunities to drink form phallic shaped bottles, but don’t get carried away and use your tongue!
8. Holidays / Vacations - As above, but (assuming a hot, non-religiously conservative destination) topless sunbathing and water play, transparent bikini bottoms, cream or oil rubbing, massages, pool play, hot tub nakedness, wet hair looks, enough alcohol to be fun but still in complete control.
Now, let’s see what else might increase your Stamina for Promiscuity. Firstly, let’s think about what you are looking for a bull, lover or playmate. They are three different kinds of man, aren’t they (although not mutually exclusive: you might have a playful lover, for example, but for ease of thought we will treat these as separate character types). But each type of partner that you consider will mean that you will be analyzing this newly met club mate / sports coach / holiday neighbor through a different Prism of Promiscuity:
A. Bull - Dominant, strong, alpha type by self definition (though not always by comparison it has to be said, I’ve seen and met a few tawdry old bulls). Bulls will soon self declare as dominant characters as that is their nature, so you will soon have heightened sensitivity to their bullish behavior. Be careful if you are searching around for these men, they are very prone to caption-esque stereotypes and can sometimes be less sensitive to exactly what it is that you and your husband or hotwife are after, rather than what they want. Take your time to understand their fetishes, listen carefully not only to what they say but also to what they don’t say, including reading between the lines. Personally I like to make bulls work very much harder than other types of men to get into my thong, as I find them much more self-centered.
B. Lover - sensitive, passionate, caring by disposition. They will show their attentiveness early and soon win your affections, but therein lies the issue. How attached do you want to become to this other man. Make sure that you have thought through long and hard (and soft) all the possible choices and consequences of your choices, before you rush down the lover route. Lots of discussion will be necessary with your husband / hotwife to determine realistic and self aware boundaries (or not).
C. Playmate - the Naughty Nirvana of many Hotwives. This is the person that makes you laugh and wet at the same time. He is the kind of man you would happily run away with, until you stop to think about it when you realize that it would never work for more than a weekend, so you just go away for a weekend together. They don’t want less than your best but don’t want more than you are prepared to offer. They require the same from you.
By using these three pocket descriptions for notional hotwife fucks, you can start to interpret the interactions you are having with men around you. Obviously everyone’s individual context affects how they behave, but I have found that these three broad generic descriptions fit quite neatly the different men that I meet on holiday, or doing sports or hobbies. I have always preferred to gauge the men I intend to fuck quite carefully because I find that non-organic moves towards hotwife experiences can go wrong.
So, what to do if your analysis of the men around you, in the local contexts I have described, are yielding no suitable partners for your wife’s promiscuity. Should you give up? No!
In my mind, if you give up you are simply denying that this matters to you, and if it does, you should never give up because whatever feelings gave rise to this lifestyle choice will manifest someplace else, and maybe not to you or your wife’s liking. It is a small step from a hotwife experience to an affair and giving up on the former may lead one or other of you to the latter eventually. Honesty is always best: if you are in to sharing your wife, or being shared, then stay true to that. But, and here is the billion dollar problem for millennials like me: you must BE PATIENT.
The caption culture of our insta-cum times means that our attention span is inversely proportional to the length of our cocks: the hornier we feel about something the less time we are prepared to wait for it to happen. But being a hotwife isn’t something to be rushed. Being a slut can be rushed, and if that is your kink, it is much easier to solve: go into the bar and just pick someone, they will be fucking you within the hour.
But there is a ‘wife’ dimension to the ‘hotwife’ relationship and that demands patience, precisely to build up the organic nature of sexual tension that will yield so much pleasure when they take you. It is the sense of betrayal at the heart of the hotwife experience that makes it feel so hot, and full of so much pleasure and pain. Waiting for it to happen doesn’t lessen that pain, it intensifies it.
So, if you are serious about your hotwife’s promiscuity, show her your sexual stamina and be prepared to wait, exploring every social situation you experience that won’t lead to moving house or loss of reputation, and let the attraction and tension build. If your hotwife is going to fuck really passionately she needs time to find the right man. Show her that you have the staying power to wait for that, and she will thank you forever.
And when she does, think of me when you cum x