Can you remember the first time you shared your wife, or, if you are a Hotwife, the first time you were shared?
I remember mine, his name was Jason and he had beautiful Mediterranean skin tone, a gorgeous smile and winning charm. I spotted him as soon as I entered the bar, he was surrounded by a group of hopeful, beautiful girls and I told my husband that I was going to fuck him that night so he had better book us a room. Later, I made sure that I made it really painful for my husband by fucking with great affection too, my fingers tracing Jason’s muscles as he lay between my legs, my whispers of appreciation mesmerizing my husband. Sounds perfect doesn’t it?
Well, it wasn’t. I had drunk too much to be clear-headed in my fucking, and did some things I wasn’t comfortable with afterwards. I also got the level of affection wrong too, confusing myself as to whether I was fucking or making love and consequently feeling unsettled. I didn’t get the aftercare right for my husband, nor did he get it right for me, leaving us both feeling vulnerable and spoiling the memory.
No surprise that it wasn’t perfect. It was our first step into a Hotwife lifestyle and the first step is always the hardest. Ignorance, naivety and inexperience lead you to make poor choices that ensure the encounter is more likely to go wrong than right. We simply hadn’t had the right kind of conversations beforehand.
We had talked endlessly about how much I wanted to be admired, felt, propositioned, taken. We had discussed imagined feelings entering the bar, scenarios of signaling ‘this is the one’, and what would happen just before we left for the room. All the horny stuff really.
But we hadn’t explored my need for a confidence-bolstering drink (or 6), and how that might affect my judgement. We hadn’t considered other ways of getting the same Adrenalin-easing effect without dulling my mental acuity. Consequently, things were bound to go wrong even before we had got to the room.
We had hornily discussed pleasure-pain and how free I was to indulge myself with someone else in front of my husband, because he wanted to get off on that so I could be guilt free. We had thought the challenge would be to his sense of territorialism, but it wasn’t at all: he had already done the hard work on what we both needed in sharing me. But we had hopelessly underestimated the magnitude of his hurt in seeing me be so affectionate, and I had not considered at all how confusing it would be for me emotionally to behave like that. Our simplistic understanding of ‘the Drop’, (see my earlier posts on the drop for him and for her), was woefully inadequate in he face of the emotional reality.
Our fantasy talk simply hadn’t extended to what would happen when our sexual high was a spent force. It seems laughable now, but our planning was that the man would evaporate (Jason did, he played his part well), and that we would fall happily into a recounting embrace, reliving our highlights. Instead, the hypercharged emotions ran wild with their alcohol fueled energy: he was wounded at how much it was love-making; I felt abandoned and vulnerably isolated by his emotional withdrawal.
We didn’t return to the topic of being a Hotwife for 6 months. In that time we had to do some repair work for each of us. Our relationship became stronger but at the cost of some scars that would remain sensitive for a while longer. However we became much wiser and far better informed about how we were likely to react to my promiscuity. My first step with Jason felt a bit catastrophic at the time, to be honest, but in fact the lessons learned not only made us more honest, transparent and considerate with one another, it actually made a Hotwife lifestyle possible as a sustainable choice for life, rather than forever remaining a chance encounter or spontaneous fuck.
The first step into becoming a Hotwife is the hardest in every way. Certainly the husband’s cock will be at its hardest at the final realization of this long jerked-off to dream. But the unimagined fallout or improperly explored and considered consequences and jealousies will also be much harder than the husband expected.
The Hotwife’s vulnerability will be extremely high and the pressure to ‘pull off the big one’ so to speak will be enormous. She will be simultaneously praised and resented, emerging in her husband’s mind from her former state which was compliant hottie to dangerously self serving and other-pleasing straying slut. This impossible situation is certainly hard, and never gets easier, but here, on the first time it is doubly hard due to its unexpectedness.
So enjoy all the good hardness and love each other through the challenging hardnesses. There is more to cum.